that unnecessary trepidation

life has been a little crazy the last few days. done a lot of things ive never done before. was a little stressed last night so i called up a friend and a got a massage. naked j, with straight friend wasn't as awkward as you'd think. i also did something i've always wanted to do, but have always been afraid of. i had my cards read. my friend who is a part time massage therapist also does tarot card readings. he said i had good energy, so i figured why not give this a shot.

the card reading was really interesting. i never really believed in this stuff, but it was surprisingly pretty accurate, but when he was flipping card over i was nervous because most of them seemed negative, especially the devil card. i was pretty sure he was gonna tell me i would die in 3 months, because i've always felt i would die at a young age for whatever reasons. but the devil card meant something completely different. it actually made me feel a lot better about everything thats goin on right now.

i also went to a party a few people from school were throwin and got shitfaced for the first time in some months. me and alcohol aren't the best of friends. so when i end up getting in some random argument and punching hawaiian jack in the face i remembered why i don't drink. i felt bad about the whole thing, but it felt strangely therapeutic. which didn't last too long because i ended up drunk texting x about the whole situation, but ended up sending half of my contacts the text instead, which lead to a phone call from the moms wondering why i'm punching random kids when she sent me out here for school. and of course i ansewered the phone, because i was drunk and stupid, so that didn't make the situation any better.

but yeah. unnecessary trepidation. and i plan on editing this because it sucks ass.  ut that was my saturday night.