this is my religion

i was molested as a child. thats a fuckin fact. this did not happen behind closed doors. it happened out in the open. i can remember everything. i can see it with the most vivid details. i know when it happened, where it happened, how long it happened, how he looked, and what we did. but no one else knew about this. thats the thing that bothers me. thats the thing that keeps me up at night. thats the thing that makes me push people away. forget the fact that i was molested. how did no one know. how could i sit on this guys lap, suck his nipples, suck his dick, him touch me, him play with my ass, him kiss me and no one knew it. no one found out. no one stopped it. this didn't happen behind closed doors. this shit happened out in the open. i remember the yellow house. the yellow house with the three bedrooms. but i don't remember his. i can see his sisters. ive played in his sisters but ive never been in his room. this shit happened out in the open. in the living room on the floor. on the sofa. under the table. this shit fuckin happened on a fuckin trampoline every fucxkin day out in the fuckin open in the middle of the afternoon. how did no one see this. how did no one catch us. why was this never stopped. i dont get it. it doesnt make sense to me. its the one thing that doesnt make sense to me and it bothers the fuck out of me.