damn i wish i could show some kind of emotion. give me something. i just feel so fuckin numb to everything. i need a connection. i need some human interaction. i need somethin to help me feel alive again. give me somethin. whatever this is thats goin on right now needs to come to an abrupt stop before i end it myself. people are just so fucking stupid sometimes i'm just so fuckin dumb and naive. i'm a fuckin idiot tool. just use me. thats the only time i feel anything. the only time i feel human. the only time i'm not numb to my surrounding. why is it that i only want what i cant have and when something wants me then i don't want it. why can't i force myself to want it back. why is that i constantly feel like i have to prove myself. why is it that i feel like fuckin cassie in an episode of skins when i should really be a sid or a jal. why is it that im fuckin doing this. this shit is so fucking confusing. i'm tired of people telling me how impressed and proud and how they can't believe i did what i did and i'm living how i want to live. i'm tired of feeling fuckin isolated even when i'm not alone. what is this gay shit. why can't i just pick a gender an stick with it. are my emotions even real. if i truly feel the way i say i do about this girl, then why am i still chasing after a guy. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckukahjszgvbcukajsZFCVBu kjds,mgzv fuck this shit. where the hell are u jay. i can't deal and i need a fuckin nap and a bisquit.